Roker Rhymes #1

In a new feature, our man Dan Williams rounds up the weeks events in a poem. Yes, a poem. Poems are cool, get cultured!...

The transfer windows come and go
Money grabbing Darren dealt us a blow
But 24 million for 'truthful' Bent
Sess and Muntari is money well spent

35 million for Carroll
Shows the world's gone mad
Although its fair to say
That the big lad ain't half bad

But money like that
Is taking the mick
When your new number nine
Is going to end up in the nick

So Chelsea it was
Visiting Tuesday night
And man did the lads
Put up a good fight

McBardo flew forward
We all shouted shoot
As another bloody screamer
Left the Scotsman's boot

But Elmo's love for Cheryl
Put Flash Gordon in some hell
The Egyptian gave Ashley a cuddle,
And down the bellend fell

Fat Franks getting fit again
And wheter we like it or not
The porky little legend
Rarely misses from the spot

Then the defence went on holiday
Left Flash all on his own
Kalou might not be the best
But we threw that dog a bone

Ricos hitting form though,
And how loud were the cheers?
When his free kick found its way in
The first we'd scored in years!

Sometime though you must admit
To being second best
Chelsea started to show their class
And we weren't up to the test

But onwards and upwards we say
For an away trip at the Brit'
To take on a team of giants
Good at heading, but at football, shit

But we know that already don't we?
Just need the defence to be strong
And hope to god that the ref and linesman
Don't get anything important wrong

So I'm not going to mention the match
Its a massive, bitter blow
And its tough to look at positives
But Sessegnon did glow

With Liverpool beating Chelsea
Sixth place is looking tough
And our next few games will show us
If we're made of the right stuff

So let's get behind Wor Brucey
Take the good times and the bads
And leather Tottenham next time round
Let's do it, Haway the lads!

And there'll be more of that from Dan, each and every week! Be sure to add him on Twitter too - @daninfrance